The Michelangelo Effect

There are a great many blogs coming down the pipes but, as they all tend to be a bit more on the serious and possibly controversial side, I'm going to ease into the week with a little food for thought on this lovely cold day in Chiberia. 

In a recent psychology lecture, we were discussing the Michelangelo Effect. The basic idea is that, by being encouraging toward and supportive of our partner's ideals, we, in turn, help to sculpt them into a better version of themselves. The reverse, unfortunately, is also true. We have such power of influence over the people we are close to that we can shape them into the best or worst of who they have the potential to be. I find this to be both beautiful and terrifying. 

We've all had that partner/friend/relative/person of influence that somehow made us less than who we were to begin with. The ones that made us feel unworthy of their love or respect, the ones that encouraged us to eat our feelings, the ones that made us constantly see only the bad things in ourselves. I can name more than I'd ever care to admit. 

But I've also had wonderful people come through my life who helped me to step back out from who I had become and walk ever closer to the person I had always wanted to be. People who reminded me that I was smart, capable, worthy, lovable, talented. In the past two years, I have made strides that I never thought were possible. All because someone encouraged me to change my life for the better. 

So here is my unsolicited advice for the day. Try to see your partner for their potential and encourage them in their dreams. Do not feel the need to constantly tell them their faults, they likely already knew them all well before you came along. And, if your partner makes you feel unworthy, unloved, or disrespected or if they make you unhealthier, meaner, or angrier try to see that for what it is and change it. Do not let anyone every make you feel smaller and do unto others as  you would have them do unto you. Let's try to make this world a happier and kinder place.