when I turned 30

Recently, I had a friend who turned 30. He posted on Facebook that he wondered if this meant that things in life would finally start to make sense. I remember being quite terrified of turning 30 last year. I was sure I would reach my birthday, look back and regret every single minute of my 20s. Thankfully, that is not what actually happened. 
What actually happened:

• All of the things that seemed incredibly crucial in my 20s didn't seem to matter as much anymore. Marriage, kids, who beat me out for a part in a show, who snubbed me. It's so much easier when you just remember that things will happen if they're meant to happen and when they're supposed to happen. At the moment, I can barely plan a few months in advance. I've signed up for a few races, I bought a pass for Dragon Con, I know what class I want to take this summer, that's about it.
• I made the decision to stop being scared of everything. This was a huge one. I have hidden behind fear for so long. Fear of pain, rejection, failure. So I got a tattoo, I asked a boy out, I let it be okay to get a B. The possibilities now seem endless.
• I stopped giving a shit what everyone else thought of me. There was a time when I was quite sure that I needed everyone to like me and every relationship to work out happily ever after. I spent a lot of my time being a people pleaser. As my dear friend, Amelia, puts it, "The number of fucks I have to give are significantly less." If someone has hurt my feelings, I'm going to let them know. I have no problems telling a partner exactly what I want. I started putting myself first for a change.
• I finally got control over those pesky finances. I've been in debt since the first time I got married, 11 years ago. My first husband had been out of the house two years before I finally managed to pay off our credit cards and, as of three short weeks ago, I paid off all of the debt from my second marriage. I'm far from being debt-free but I feel like I've finally gotten a hold on the situation and at least now all of the debt I have is mine.
• I let go of a few of those control issues. I'm not saying I still don't cringe whenever I see a car break the rules of the road or that I don't make lists like they're going out of style. But I stopped planning everything months in advance and I can go for a walk with my mom and decide to eat wherever strikes our fancy without having a complete meltdown of a panic attack. Baby steps. 
• I got rid of most of those debilitating self-esteem issues and social anxieties. I cut my hair exactly how I want to, I dress exactly how I want to, and, when I go to a party, I don't stand in a corner waiting for someone to talk to me while I assume everyone who isn't is judging me. Turns out, I really like me.

What does all of this add up to? I feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in many years. And that, my dears, is what I hope that everyone finds when they turn 30 or 40 or 50. Learn to let go and enjoy your lives.