just as you are

This article has had me thinking a lot this week about how we allow others to skew our visions of ourselves; our mothers, friends, coworkers, partners. The sad thing is that it never seems to occur to us until long after the fact that we were never as lacking as that particular person made us feel. I've been slowly coming to one of those realizations over the past nine months and, let me tell you, it's a hard self-view to shake off.
I can't really say what it is exactly that causes another person (usually one that supposedly loves and cares about your well-being) to pick us into pieces but I can say that I think it needs to stop. Your partner doesn't need to have all of their flaws pointed out to them (trust me they already know) and your children will have enough time struggling with self-confidence over the years to have anything but your undying support. I'm not asking you to give someone an unrealistic view of self but to remember that people are so much more than their deficiencies. 
I have struggled with weight and money difficulties and debilitating shyness and severe depression. I've been divorced, dropped out of college, watched my father fight through drug addiction, and stood by helplessly as my active and beautiful sister has succumbed to chronic pain and mental illness. In the end, though, none of these things define who I am and the strengths I carry. It doesn't matter whether you are in a relationship or single, whether you choose to have kids or not, whether you're skinny or overweight, whether you're outgoing or shy, whether you're poor or rich, or whether you've got a PhD or struggled to get a GED. No matter what you choose to do with your life, it does not change who you are. You are talented, intelligent, beautiful, and interesting in your own way and you are always good enough. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is not worth your time. 


"To Bridget, who cannot cook, but who we love - just as she is." - Bridget Jones's Diary