the eye of the beholder

There have been some pretty viral articles and videos spinning about the internet this week. But today I'm focusing on this article about the female winner of Wimbledon and this video of Dustin Hoffman speaking about his experience with Tootsie. There seems to be a pretty common theme: that women are not worthy of your time or of any great achievements if they do not fit your ideal definition of beauty. And the women are just as bad as the men. Now I will admit, that out of fits of jealousy, I have, on occasion, snarked on a woman's looks before. While it is usually aimed at their poor taste in shoes or picking terrible clothes for their body type, the occasional pot shot at their actual physical appearance has been known to slip out of my mouth. And it has got to stop. When I first saw the Dustin Hoffman video, it was posted by a friend with the following comment attached, "On behalf of all ugly women I applaud you Mr. Hoffman." It was a bit shocking to read because I have never thought of her as ugly. I find her to be an extremely talented woman with a wicked sense of humor and a loving nature that has never allowed me to look at anything as paltry as her looks. I also recently had the experience of showing a picture of a dear friend of mine to someone who replied, "Well, they're rather homely looking, aren't they?" Again, this friend's personality, acceptance, and love shines so thoroughly throughout their entire being that I have always considered them to be extremely lovely. I have always prided myself on never having "a type" when dating. I've dated flaming homosexuals (hey, I was 14, I didn't know any better), guys that looked like rock stars, people who were morbidly obese, men who were nearing 7 feet tall and guys I could tower over in the right pair of heels. They've had every shade of eye color and hair color. I've had crushes on boys that came from Indian, African-American, Italian, German, and Irish heritages. I've dated guys who were rich and guys who were broke. And I have one ex-husband (my bff) who my cousin lovingly refers to as Frodo. Never once has their physical appearance been a thought or the cause of any of our relational difficulties and every one of them was worth getting to know and had something to teach me about life. So what is it that makes us so willing to ignore and even abuse the "ugly people"? It is sad and immature and a level of pathetic that is beyond most people I know. Never pass up the opportunity to make a new friend or fall in love with someone who may not be an Adonis, it is always worth it and you will never be the same when you stop looking at people's bodies and notice what it is they have to bring to the table.