the invisible sufferers

Today is one of those subjects particularly close to my heart: those that suffer from invisible disabilities. There are a number of illnesses that fit in this category including fibromyalgia, epilepsy, endometriosis, chronic pain, migraines, and a variety of mental illnesses. They range in their levels of debilitation but the important part is that they are incredibly painful and not particularly obvious to the naked eye. Every once in awhile you'll see a random Facebook meme alerting you to the fact that someone you know is silently suffering behind a smile and a perfectly normal looking body. A great many people that I care for deeply fall into this category. So, here are a few things that you probably didn't know about these folks. 

1) These are the strongest people you will ever meet. The amount of pain they go through is many levels of horrifying, far worse than most of us could begin to imagine. And somehow they manage to keep it hidden from the majority of the world. They stay inside, away from other people, when the pain is unbearable and they smile through it so no one can ever see what kind of misery they are in on a regular basis. 

2) If they are cranky or avoidant or seem to "just have one problem after another", it is out of their control. They are not being drama queens or spreading misery. Think about it, some of us get testy with other people if we don't have enough coffee in the morning. Imagine what it would be like to be under constant excruciating pain.

3) It is not in their head. If you have anything to imply about psychosomatic symptoms, kindly fuck off somewhere else.

4) They are some of the most loving and wonderful people I know. They tend to care about and take care of everyone around them better than they ever take care of themselves. Even when they feel like total shit, they will take the time to email, call, or drop everything to spend time with you in the middle of a break-up or personal crisis that isn't half as important as what they're going through every day.

5) Despite all of this, they think that they are broken and somehow unworthy of love or any other good things in their life. They tend to have a hard time finding or keeping jobs, they face rejection on a regular basis because of tics or behaviors or incidences that they cannot control, and relationships, friends or partners, are difficult to maintain because so few people understand what it is that they go through. 

So please please please try to raise awareness around you. If you know someone like this and you see them struggling, help them without being asked. If you have been asked, understand that it was probably a last act of desperation, drop everything and get your ass over to them. Stand up for them when people talk about them behind their backs and try to protect them in the workplace. Care for them unconditionally. Stop getting so wrapped up in your own meaningless bullshit and remember that other people around you are fighting battles everyday.