Tuesday, November 19, 2013

asking for help

My sister has been having a rough time with her health lately. For those of you who don't know, she suffers from fibromyalgia and is also bipolar. The doctors have been screwing around with her meds and her fibro flairs have left her unable to do much of anything when she's not at work or class. So, recently, my mom posted on Facebook asking for anyone who could lend a hand to come help them clean her house. Several people jumped in and immediately offered there assistance and I am overwhelmed by their generosity. Then, I came across the following TED talk. When I posted this talk on fb, there was a lot of talk about how she spent the money from her kickstarter but let's not get into that here. Let's just take a minute and listen to the message of what she's telling you. IT IS OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP. I know a great number of people who struggle with this concept, myself included, but this is what I have to say to you:

  • If you're struggling with your mental health and/or feeling like hurting yourself or others, it is okay to get medications and/or therapy. Fuck public stigma, people are assholes. The people who really matter will respect you for getting the help you need to better your life.
  • If you're sick or otherwise incapable of getting through your every day life, it is okay to ask your friends and family for help. Even if it's something as simple as, 'Hey, could you pick me up some juice while you're at the store?' or something as complicated as, 'I've just cut off my finger, can you drive me to the emergency room?' I'm willing to bet the people who love you will drop what they're doing and help out.
  • If you're lonely, don't be afraid to call your friends. *This happens to be one of my worst habits* Don't be afraid of rejection. Yes, sometimes they will be busy and unable to hang but, when they're free, I bet they're just as excited to see you as you are to see them.
What I'm getting at, is ASK. You will never know what you are missing out on until you finally have enough trust to fall back on the people who care about you. And a small addendum, if someone asks you for help and there is nothing particularly crucial deterring you, help. Realize how hard it is for others to ask and remember that it will probably come back to you the next time you need help of your own.
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2 comments:

  1. MaggieNovember 19, 2013 at 2:12 PM

    Thank you so much for writing this, Em. I can recall a time when I was on the edge, and I sat alone in my apartment, awake, alone and in the darkest possible place. I sat and wept because as long as I was crying I knew I was still alive. It's the closest I've ever come to taking my own life, and it scared the bejabbers out of me.

    When I related the story weeks later to a friend, she asked why on earth I hadn't called. It simply hadn't occurred to me that at 2 a.m. when I thought I had nowhere to turn, I was wrong.

    So thank you for the reminder. I love you.

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  2. AnonymousNovember 20, 2013 at 9:05 AM

    I'm so glad your sister is getting help.
    I think some people end up stuck because when they do ask for help, they don't get it (for whatever reason). Or the people who want to help don't live near them. I know for me talking about illness, asking for help etc has been a real test of who people are and what they mean to me. That is a mixed blessing for sure.

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