I always strive to try and maintain a balanced life; remembering which priorities and people are important and trying to keep myself healthy and happy. I think I can safely say that this summer was a fail as far as balance is concerned. I'm not saying this to be self-deprecating but because the only way to move on and rediscover my balance is to accept that there is a problem to begin with.
Most of the past couple of years I have been a rock. I've been getting mostly As and Bs in school, keeping active and staying strong and healthy, being mentally stronger than I have in (I don't know) ever, powering through all of the bureaucratic crap at my job, keeping up financially, and spending time with my friends without wearing myself too thin.
This summer was rough. I was burnt out and got Cs in my classes. I kept injuring myself and getting sick so my running training fell by the wayside. This means that the half marathon I participated in on Sunday was mostly walking and I had to cross over on the course and skip about four miles. My eating is once again out of control and I am the heaviest I have been since before I moved to Chicago. I can't afford any of the judo, archery, dancing, or gym classes I usually like to participate in. I am so off budget that I can't really afford much of anything besides rent and bills. My supervisor retired at the beginning of the summer and not only have we not hired anyone new (which means I'm doing both of our jobs), I also have still not gotten the promotion I have been repeatedly promised over the past three years. I also have a large group of people who are important to me that I haven't been able to devote as much time to as I would like. I've also been giving a lot of mental energy to people that aren't always the greatest at returning the favor. I spent last night sitting on my couch sobbing for about two hours because all of these things combined have finally broken my ever optimistic spirit.
I don't really know what the answer is. I know I have to take some stock and do a lot of life recalculations. I know that my LARPs always make me happy so they will be staying on the calendar for the time being. I know that I need to not overbook myself so much during the week so that I can actually keep up with my homework. I know that I need to get a killer resume and cover letter together while continuing to fight for my promotion. I know I need to redo my entire budget. I know I need to take more control over my diet and activity levels. And I know that next week I have an audition to join the Northwestern Music Academy chorus because I need more music in my life. But I'm still looking at everything and wondering if I really have the strength to get it done.
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