- being cymbalta free - Let me tell you, cymbalta withdrawal is no joke, it is some seriously scary shit and I hope to never have to go through anything like that again. The physical symptoms are gone and it's finally starting to feel like my mental state may be stabilizing. For the first time in a very long time, I don't feel like the entire world is a pool of jello that I'm trying to walk through.
- grad aps out the door - I'm still waiting on some procrastinators that haven't sent in their letters of recommendation but everything that I had control over is done and sent. There are still interviews and financial aid and logistics and moving to deal with but, for the moment, I am in a lull where I can just wait, breathe, and enjoy my free time.
- Bernie Sanders - My little socialist heart flutters wildly for the senator from Vermont and I will fight anyone who puts him down in my presence. This guy gets it and really wants to make some serious changes to how we treat the people at the bottom of the ladder. If everyone really gets their asses out there and votes in the primaries and again in November, I have no doubt he could kick ass and take names.
- Friends - Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but in this case I'm talking about the TV show. I've been so emotionally drained that having something that just makes me laugh and doesn't require me to be super emotionally involved is a real relief.
- Saturday classes - Yeah, they completely suck up a large part of my weekend but they're only 5 weeks! This week will be my third week and I'll be taking the midterm and over halfway through the course by the time I leave to go to a character information session for TBD.
- my mom - There is no possible way I would be able to get through any of the incredible amount of shit of the past year without my mom. And this past weekend she came up to stay, brought groceries and wine, made me tacos and pancakes and eggs and panko crusted chicken. She took me to Ikea and bought me a stuffed pig just because I thought my stuffed frog needed a companion. She dragged me through store after store at Woodfield Mall even though I was so depressed I could barely walk because she was determined to get me some pants that I felt comfortable and pretty in after all of the weight gain I've been struggling with. Turns out she got me two, a sweater dress, and a sweater. I think she kind of loves me.
- having the tough talks - I've had a lot lately and it's not something that comes naturally to me. I'm a listener by nature and being an advocate for myself has always sent me running in the other direction to avoid confrontation. I have panic attacks, I stutter, and it's really difficult to keep my thoughts straight. But I stood up for my mental health, my career, and myself to multiple people in the past two weeks. It's far from done and there are still many tough talks and much hard work to be done but I'm moving in the right direction.
- a realization - Speaking of my little socialist heart. I've been having conversations lately about social advocacy and writing personal statements for grad school and discussing women's rights and worker's rights and human's rights A LOT. Yesterday, I was telling the soldier about how Emma Goldman is my idol and how the thing the world really needs right now is another her. And then I realized, my career goals are sending me in the right direction to shake things up and be the crazy, socialist, humanist woman I've always looked up to.
Special shout outs to Resa, Elise, Michael, Adam, and Elliott who listened to a lot of my crap over the past two weeks and were supportive and loving and everything I needed.
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