Things I Love Thursday

Ladies night - Friday night, Carolyn brought over a fantastic Austrian Riesling and we sat on the couch eating tons of snack food and catching up. It was a lovely evening and there's just something awesome about lazing around with a glass of wine and your girlfriends. 

Friends with good news - Saturday I heard some really fantastic news for a friend. She hasn't shared it with everyone yet so I'll keep it to myself but I am so insanely happy for her.

Changeling - Saturday night, I headed off to a new LARP with a fantastic character that I created. The entire night was everything I wanted it to be. The other players are fantastic (and most of my very dearest of friends), my makeup and costume worked out perfectly, post-game diner food with lovely people was a ton of fun, and I'm just super thrilled to see where the game goes. My biggest accomplishment of the night, though, was in the post-game shout-outs. It's a LARPer tradition that once we wrap game, we go around and give shout-outs to people who were particularly fantastic that night (like my friend, Elise, who cut her hair IN GAME). I have always been a bit of a sideline character and have never been particularly noticeable. Apparently that has changed as I got shout-outs for my super creepy character and my awesome ability to sneak up out of nowhere and stare you down. I really love my character and I'm glad she's giving off the right vibe.

Starting the week off right - I started the week off waking up next to a pretty fantastic guy who then took me out to breakfast before driving me to work. I'm pretty sure it was the best possible way to start the work week. 

Barriers to scientific progress - My Behavior Genetics and Evolutionary Psychology has an odd sense of humor and I'm not entirely sure the rest of the class always knows when he's joking. Tuesday night he suggested that we all have children and then switch kids so that we could do adoption studies on them. When the majority of the class declined, stating that they had no intention of ever having any children, he shouted that we were all barriers to scientific progress. I kind of adore his crazy. 

Ivy loves Ivan - At Christmas, I got Ivy an adorable stuffed monkey from Build-A-Bear. This morning, I got a text message from Sarah that Ivy had played with Ivan on her scooter all night last night and then insisted that Ivan put on a dress and come to the nanny's with her this morning. Kind of made my heart melt a little. 

Halfway there - Once I head home after class tonight, I will be halfway done with the summer quarter. It's going quickly but I'm doing well, I'm enjoying them and I am so ready for August.

the eye of the beholder

There have been some pretty viral articles and videos spinning about the internet this week. But today I'm focusing on this article about the female winner of Wimbledon and this video of Dustin Hoffman speaking about his experience with Tootsie. There seems to be a pretty common theme: that women are not worthy of your time or of any great achievements if they do not fit your ideal definition of beauty. And the women are just as bad as the men. Now I will admit, that out of fits of jealousy, I have, on occasion, snarked on a woman's looks before. While it is usually aimed at their poor taste in shoes or picking terrible clothes for their body type, the occasional pot shot at their actual physical appearance has been known to slip out of my mouth. And it has got to stop. When I first saw the Dustin Hoffman video, it was posted by a friend with the following comment attached, "On behalf of all ugly women I applaud you Mr. Hoffman." It was a bit shocking to read because I have never thought of her as ugly. I find her to be an extremely talented woman with a wicked sense of humor and a loving nature that has never allowed me to look at anything as paltry as her looks. I also recently had the experience of showing a picture of a dear friend of mine to someone who replied, "Well, they're rather homely looking, aren't they?" Again, this friend's personality, acceptance, and love shines so thoroughly throughout their entire being that I have always considered them to be extremely lovely. I have always prided myself on never having "a type" when dating. I've dated flaming homosexuals (hey, I was 14, I didn't know any better), guys that looked like rock stars, people who were morbidly obese, men who were nearing 7 feet tall and guys I could tower over in the right pair of heels. They've had every shade of eye color and hair color. I've had crushes on boys that came from Indian, African-American, Italian, German, and Irish heritages. I've dated guys who were rich and guys who were broke. And I have one ex-husband (my bff) who my cousin lovingly refers to as Frodo. Never once has their physical appearance been a thought or the cause of any of our relational difficulties and every one of them was worth getting to know and had something to teach me about life. So what is it that makes us so willing to ignore and even abuse the "ugly people"? It is sad and immature and a level of pathetic that is beyond most people I know. Never pass up the opportunity to make a new friend or fall in love with someone who may not be an Adonis, it is always worth it and you will never be the same when you stop looking at people's bodies and notice what it is they have to bring to the table.

Things I Love Friday (special holiday edition)

Sorry, y'all, I do not go anywhere near a computer on most of my days off and yesterday was no exception. So here is my TILT a day late.

Boys who cook - Now I am a major foodie and I have a vast expanse of cooking experience. I take classes, I religiously watch cooking shows, and read up on new recipes. So, other people that aren't my mom cooking for me is a bit of a novelty. Sunday was one of those days. There were tacos and strawberries for dessert and a lovely time was had by all.

2 weeks down - I am already a third of the way through classes. It's going by quickly and I am greatly looking forward to having August and September off from classes. It will be a nice change not to worry about homework for awhile. That being said, I'm already looking forward to...

Next year's courses - In the fall, I'll be taking Psychopathology and a special topics course in Stereotyping & Prejudice. In the winter, I'll be taking Research Methods and Clinical Psychology. In the spring, I'll be taking an advanced seminar in the Psychology of Emotion and Child Psychopathology. I'm pretty sure every one of these classes is going to be intensely fascinating and I'm looking forward to taking classes with Sara Broaders because she's kind of a big deal around here.

The P-nut is back in the states - Tuesday night my dearest baby (okay, he's 21 but he's still my baby) cousin, Austin, flew back to Chicago for his month of leave. He's been stationed in Okinawa with the army for the past year and a half and I have never been happier to put my arms around someone. My cousins Alysia and Shayne (and Shayne's roommate, Duncan) and I  took him out to Luxbar and Clark Street Ale House and had a rousing good time. On that note, I am too old to be out drinking with three 21 year olds. 

Green with Envy - Speaking of Luxbar. Not only is their food blow-your-mind amazing but their cocktails are to die for. If you are a huge lover of gin like me, go there and order the Green with Envy cocktail. Hendrick, St Germain, cucumber juice, lemon juice, and prosecco. There is nothing bad about this drink.

1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets - I just got a really sweet deal for these babies on Amazon and I am likely to never leave my bed again if I have the choice.

Lazy holidays - As aforementioned, yesterday was the good old fourth of July and, in the past, I have been known to spend most of the day cooking and prepping for parties, partying, and drinking well into the wee smas. Yesterday, I spent half the day in my comfy new sheets and the rest of the day curled up in my papasan with a pup in my lap, a gin cocktail by my side, and an xbox controller in hand. I think it was likely more fun than fighting the crowds outside.

Character research - Tomorrow night I start up my new character in the Changeling LARP. I have spent a lot of time looking into makeup designs and plotting my costume and my hair and my character in general. I need to pick up a few supplies and maybe get a practice run in with my makeup but I am super excited to take her for a spin.

just as you are

This article has had me thinking a lot this week about how we allow others to skew our visions of ourselves; our mothers, friends, coworkers, partners. The sad thing is that it never seems to occur to us until long after the fact that we were never as lacking as that particular person made us feel. I've been slowly coming to one of those realizations over the past nine months and, let me tell you, it's a hard self-view to shake off.
I can't really say what it is exactly that causes another person (usually one that supposedly loves and cares about your well-being) to pick us into pieces but I can say that I think it needs to stop. Your partner doesn't need to have all of their flaws pointed out to them (trust me they already know) and your children will have enough time struggling with self-confidence over the years to have anything but your undying support. I'm not asking you to give someone an unrealistic view of self but to remember that people are so much more than their deficiencies. 
I have struggled with weight and money difficulties and debilitating shyness and severe depression. I've been divorced, dropped out of college, watched my father fight through drug addiction, and stood by helplessly as my active and beautiful sister has succumbed to chronic pain and mental illness. In the end, though, none of these things define who I am and the strengths I carry. It doesn't matter whether you are in a relationship or single, whether you choose to have kids or not, whether you're skinny or overweight, whether you're outgoing or shy, whether you're poor or rich, or whether you've got a PhD or struggled to get a GED. No matter what you choose to do with your life, it does not change who you are. You are talented, intelligent, beautiful, and interesting in your own way and you are always good enough. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is not worth your time. 


"To Bridget, who cannot cook, but who we love - just as she is." - Bridget Jones's Diary

Things I Love Thursday

It's been a great week, so much to be grateful for.

Plantain enchiladas and good friends - Friday night, I introduced the Aldreds to my favorite Mexican restaurant in the city, El Nuevo. We gorged on their amazing vegetarian entrees and their fantastic mojitos and margaritas and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. It had been much too long since I had gotten to spend any quality time with them.

A successful graduation ceremony - I'm a little nostalgic. On Saturday morning, we sent our seniors on their way. Most of them were freshmen my first year here and I was a little sad to see some of them go. The ceremony went the smoothest it's ever gone though and our speakers were great. And now I can enjoy the easier pace of summer at work.

Zombies and baby snuggles - Saturday night was spent in Hyde Park with my favorite family, the Areharts. I got to snuggle my sweet Ivy Jane, eat amazing caprese sandwiches courtesy of Tim, meet some awesome Japanese studies PhD students from U of C, meet Carol-Anne's new beau, and kick some serious dual sawed-off shot-gun ass in Zombiecide. Oh and then I had a lovely walk down Michigan Avenue at night before hopping on the train home.

Much Ado About Nothing (AGAIN) - Yes, I went to see Much Ado About Nothing in the theatre again and it was just as incredible the second time around. This was followed by burgers at Prairie Moon, a lovely walk in the rain through Evanston, watching Kenneth Branagh's Much Ado just for comparison sake, watching various other Shakespeare clips on youtube (Brando as Marc Antony, Branagh as Henry V), and finished off by a rousing rendition of Once More with Feeling because the day hadn't been geeky enough already. ;) It was pretty much the best day I've had in a long time.

Grown up candy - This is for me to know and you to never find out. :)

Blackhawks! - The Stanley Cup is back where it belongs, sweet home Chicago. How I love my Blackhawks. 

New classes - The new quarter started up on Tuesday. I'm taking Research Statistics in Psychology and Genetic & Evolutionary Psychology. I'm quite certain both of these classes are going to kick ass and I'm immensely grateful that neither one will require me to write a research paper. I'm especially psyched (oh my god, pun soo not intended) to be taking a course from the infamous Mike Bailey. If you don't know him, look him up, he's not afraid to make a ruckus. 

Down with DOMA & Prop 8 - Yesterday was a great day for America and especially my friends of varying sexual orientation. I am so incredibly proud that the SCOTUS made the right decisions. We still have a long way to go but this is definitely a great step in the right direction. And what a great present for the Pride parade this weekend. 

What is your why?

Oh man, I'm clearing out my inbox, reorganizing my outlook folders, and cleaning up anything left from the past year at work. Before I move on to our new incoming class, I'd like to stop and muse for a little while about our fantastic commencement speaker, Matt Levatich, president and chief operating officer of Harley-Davidson Motor Company and, yes, he did ride in for his address on a beautiful Harley. Over the years, I have sat through many a graduation ceremony with speakers that varied from miserably dull to wonderfully empowering. Matt was definitely the latter. The message of his speech was, "What is your why?" I find this to be one of those important things that many people fail to ask themselves when choosing a college, major, and even their profession. I also think that is why there are so many people that are miserable at their jobs. 
Personally, I love what I do. Yes, my job is stressful, sometimes I feel under appreciated by my supervisors, most of the time the kids are completely helpless and spoiled and expect me to fix all of their problems for them but I love working in higher education. Since I've been doing it for over eight years of my adult life, I imagine that's pretty obvious to most people but it wasn't always obvious to me. I've pursued a great number of career paths and majors throughout the past 15 years. I've majored in physical therapy, music, theatre, and psychology and I've considered everything from computer science to special education to linguistics and speech pathology. I have a great many things I love and it took me a long time to dwindle down that list from things I love into things I love to do. You spend a great deal more of your time at work than you do almost anywhere else in your life and pursuing a career that you are not passionate about will only insure that you are completely miserable for the rest of your life. I love working in higher education, I love leading undergraduates down the path that will shape the rest of their life, and I've seen the flaws in our system and I'm extremely passionate about working to fix those on whatever level that I can. I know that everyone has this fire inside of them. Some of them are too scared to follow it and some just don't take the time to reflect and make that decision. So that is my challenge to you today. Take a break from the craziness of your life, sit and think about who you are, what you want out of life, and how to get there, and don't be afraid to follow the path that it takes you down. Whether you're 16, 30, or 75, it's never too late to make a difference in your life and the lives of those around you. Go out and enjoy the time you have. 


On a completely unrelated note, watch this video. I wholeheartedly support this cause and any other anti-bullying campaigns out there. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Things I Love Thursday and an Ode to Joss

Best burger I ever ate - I mean not technically but it sure felt like it at the time. After a long day of migraines, paper writing, studying, and finally sitting my canceled final, I headed over to M Burger. I practically inhaled my burger, fries, and chocolate shake and I was so stressed out and hungry that it felt like the best meal I'd ever eaten. 

Sun and board games - Saturday I finished off my last day of class for the quarter and was rewarded by the perfect afternoon/evening with friends. We sat out on the deck with a gorgeous view of the lake and talked, ate food, and drank the afternoon away. When the temperature started to drop, we headed indoors for nerdy board games and friend snuggles. Much love to Rachel and Brian for throwing a great party.

Dean's list - I worked my ass off this quarter and it surely paid off. I got my 3.85 GPA and landed myself back on the dean's list. I'm really loving this whole getting good grades thing. 

Making peace - We all know that the past year has been a major fail in the life of Em. Just another reminder that things never work out the way you dreamed. I may never fully comprehend  what went wrong and it may always hurt to see him with someone that's not me but apologies have been exchanged and we're attempting to salvage our friendship from the wreckage. I guess for now that's going to have to be enough.

Much Ado About Nothing - This may go on for awhile, there was much to gush about. First off, thank you thank you thank you to Dann and Elise for inviting me as their date, I have been desperately waiting for this movie since I first heard about it over a year ago. Last night, we found ourselves curled up in the ridiculously comfortable seats in the DGA's private screening room anxiously waiting for the movie to start. I admit that I was a bit cautious. I worship Joss and all that is Whedon but I also loathe modernized Shakespeare and have never in my entire life seen a Shakespeare performance that I would label "perfect". Until last night. I loved every single thing about this movie from the soundtrack to the casting to the beautiful black and white setting of Joss' incredibly beautiful home. I love Shakespeare more than just about anyone I know and I know this show backward and forward. I have always thought that Beatrice and Benedick were the most perfect couple ever written and very few people are capable of giving them the performance they deserve. First off, there was incredibly little dialogue cutting which I was thrilled about. When people start to pare down the bard, they get a little scissor happy and chop out things that were actually necessary to the dialogue. To be fair, I blame this on the fact that 99% of the world truly just cannot understand what half of those sentences mean so only die hard Shakespeare geeks like myself notice the difference. No one involved in this project had that problem though. Every single line was executed with perfect clarity of every meaning and double entendre coming out of their mouths. The physical comedy was especially brilliant (HUGE shout-outs to Amy Acker and Alexis Denisof on this front). I am also convinced that, in my twenties, I have been going to all of the wrong parties and that I immediately need to remedy that by becoming best friends with Mr. Whedon. I need to own this soundtrack, I need to own this movie, and I need to see it as many times as possible while it is in theatres. So, if you're looking for a movie-going partner or heading out with a group, keep me on your list because I am more than willing to drop my money on this excellent project over and over again.