I have a few small rants that I'm just going to squish into one blog because I really should be doing much more important things. I'm aware that most of today's opinions will be wildly unpopular but, as usual, you don't have to agree with me, it's just a new idea to consider. Typically I don't tend to make a big deal about my opinions or political/religious/etc affiliations because I've found that the second someone disagrees with you it melts down into name-calling, people who think that the louder opinion is clearly the better, and general chaos. I don't think arguing is fun and find that most "friendly debates" are really just mean and intolerant. Which leads me to two brief rants one on a less personal matter but I find both to be serious issues that I take umbrage with.
First off, I agree with Taylor Swift. Last week, I noticed this article <http://news.yahoo.com/taylor-swift-slams-tina-fey-amy-poehler-love-201111267.html> pop up in a friends facebook feed who was, of course, offended that anyone would dare to call out Tina Fey. Is my opinion biased because I find Taylor Swift's catchy love songs to be a guilty pleasure I indulge in a little too frequently? Or because I only occasionally found 30 Rock mildly amusing and most of that was because of Alec Baldwin? Not really. I don't think most comedians are funny. I think that if you lack the wit to find a joke that is not at someone else's expense that you have failed your job. Sure, you might think it's hilarious to make fun of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce but, having been through divorce twice, it's not funny and it's not fun to any of the parties involved and it is especially difficult for people who live their life in the public eye. I find this to be a growing problem among women. Why do we get such personal pleasure out of other women's misery? There are so many difficult factors that go into being a woman that we should be lifting each other up not slamming each other's dating histories. And then, just a week later, this little ditty popped up <http://www.opposingviews.com/i/entertainment/tina-fey-tells-photog-go-fck-yourself-after-he-presses-her-about-taylor-swift-0>. Really, Tina, really? The woman that everyone is so inspired by who has written books and stands for women everywhere can come up with no better response to a nosy photographer than "Go fuck yourself" and "Get a job"? Sorry, Tina, but that's called karma. This guy has a job and it's the same as yours, getting rich off of making other people feel like crap. There's a fine line between mean and funny and I'm just tired of the injustice of people suffering for other people's comedy.
Second, when did friendships start becoming about what you could get from the other person instead of a common bond between kindred spirits? I dealt with this a lot in the theatre community and have noticed it increasingly as an adult. All of the "popular" groups and cliques only let new people in if they think that it will somehow benefit them in the long run. Do they have good contacts, are they a director that could cast you in a show some day, do they have a skill that you would like to use (for free because you're friends of course), will they get your business new clients, will they donate money to your kickstarter, can you come over and use their cable/internet so you don't have to pay for your own, will they help move your couch, does being friends with them somehow boost your status? Seriously, when did this happen? I have never been concerned about my own popularity. Being my own person despite the consequences has always been a pretty big deal to me but I just don't understand this attitude. Back in 2007, when my friends Leann & JR were getting married, they voiced their concerns over not knowing where to find a vocalist to sing the Ave Maria at their wedding. I of course spoke up saying that I knew the song and would be happy to sing for them if they needed someone. They didn't do this hoping I would volunteer, it had never occurred to them to ask a friend who sang if they knew the song. I have babysat, washed dishes, cooked dinner, baked pie, helped people move, and gone above and beyond for my friends time and time again but none of it was out of some desire for recognition or because they made me feel like we wouldn't be friends if I couldn't somehow provide them with some kind of service. I love each and every one of my friends. We have shared life experiences, tears, hugs, and many many laughs. We have common interests, shared passions, and a great desire to hear and be heard. We don't spend time with each other because of what the other person can give us but because of the bond we receive when we give to the other person selflessly. Friends are not necessarily your coworkers/classmates/drinking buddies just because they're the people you spend the most time with, mostly those are just acquaintances. Friends are the people that lift you up, accept you for who you are (who you date, where you work, what you look like, what you know), and know they can count on you to do the same. I have a lot of acquaintances but my friends, the ones I picked and who I was lucky enough to have pick me, are small and intimate group that I wouldn't have made it this far without. I may not be popular in a conventional sense but I know what's important and feel all the richer for it.
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