Things I Love Thursday

Feeling the love - Between the birthday messages and the outpouring of sweet messages regarding Craig, I was really feeling the love last week. I am so incredibly grateful to everyone that helped make it a good week.

House guests - Anyone who knows me knows I'm not particularly big on sharing my space. So having four people from Alabama stay in my unairconditioned apartment for three of the hottest days of this summer isn't always my most ideal scenario. However, my house guests were sweet to my animals, a ton of fun to hang out with, and made my birthday even better. Thanks for sharing your friends with me, Heather. 

Color - Saturday morning started bright and early at the Color Me Rad 5k at Soldier Field. It was hot and sticky and Carolyn and I walked about half of the race but the energy was good and getting plastered in random colors was tons of fun. 

Birthday shenanigans - Holy crap, was there a lot going on over my birthday weekend. A large amount of this was eating and drinking. Friday night, we hit up Hopleaf (wood-grilled octopus and virtue cider) and Bar on Buena (burgers and g&ts). Saturday, we had brunch at Eleven City Diner (waffles, bacon, bloody marys, coffee, and mimosas), met up at Galway Arms for dinner with a lot of wonderful friends (fish & chips, magners, and chocolate creme brulee), and finished up the night listening to great music at Kingston Mines (lots of Angry Orchard). Sunday, I slept and got through some homework while my house guests ran out for some touristy goodness and then we took a party of 10 to Quartino where I'm pretty sure we ordered over half of the menu, got through four litres of wine, there was a penis-shaped dessert complete with candles for me, nearly every other dessert on the menu, cappuccino, limoncello, grapefruit-cello, and lots of groaning over how full and happy we all were. Truly a perfect birthday weekend.

Good gift givers - We'll start with Daniel who pays way too much attention to everything I say and showed up on Saturday with the super amazing Global chef knife I've had my eyes on for months. As a nice compliment, my cousin and house guests got me a Whole Foods gift card. I am so looking forward to buying a ton of fabulous ingredients and cutting them all up with my new samurai sword this weekend. 

Baby visits - It's been nearly a month since I've made it down to see my sweet Ivy and last night finally worked out. I got to participate in bath time, dinner time, read tons of books, play with her dollies, and curl up next to her and Sarah while she drifted off to dreamland. I always feel so incredibly at ease when I leave there.

One week - In one week, I will finally be done with classes. The summer quarter has sped by and I am beyond ready to have some time off to enjoy some quality time with Daniel, lose some of the birthday weight, and get back to the archery range. Life, I've missed you. Homework, you can eff off for a couple of months.

the invisible sufferers

Today is one of those subjects particularly close to my heart: those that suffer from invisible disabilities. There are a number of illnesses that fit in this category including fibromyalgia, epilepsy, endometriosis, chronic pain, migraines, and a variety of mental illnesses. They range in their levels of debilitation but the important part is that they are incredibly painful and not particularly obvious to the naked eye. Every once in awhile you'll see a random Facebook meme alerting you to the fact that someone you know is silently suffering behind a smile and a perfectly normal looking body. A great many people that I care for deeply fall into this category. So, here are a few things that you probably didn't know about these folks. 

1) These are the strongest people you will ever meet. The amount of pain they go through is many levels of horrifying, far worse than most of us could begin to imagine. And somehow they manage to keep it hidden from the majority of the world. They stay inside, away from other people, when the pain is unbearable and they smile through it so no one can ever see what kind of misery they are in on a regular basis. 

2) If they are cranky or avoidant or seem to "just have one problem after another", it is out of their control. They are not being drama queens or spreading misery. Think about it, some of us get testy with other people if we don't have enough coffee in the morning. Imagine what it would be like to be under constant excruciating pain.

3) It is not in their head. If you have anything to imply about psychosomatic symptoms, kindly fuck off somewhere else.

4) They are some of the most loving and wonderful people I know. They tend to care about and take care of everyone around them better than they ever take care of themselves. Even when they feel like total shit, they will take the time to email, call, or drop everything to spend time with you in the middle of a break-up or personal crisis that isn't half as important as what they're going through every day.

5) Despite all of this, they think that they are broken and somehow unworthy of love or any other good things in their life. They tend to have a hard time finding or keeping jobs, they face rejection on a regular basis because of tics or behaviors or incidences that they cannot control, and relationships, friends or partners, are difficult to maintain because so few people understand what it is that they go through. 

So please please please try to raise awareness around you. If you know someone like this and you see them struggling, help them without being asked. If you have been asked, understand that it was probably a last act of desperation, drop everything and get your ass over to them. Stand up for them when people talk about them behind their backs and try to protect them in the workplace. Care for them unconditionally. Stop getting so wrapped up in your own meaningless bullshit and remember that other people around you are fighting battles everyday. 

Things I Love Thursday

When you get shitty news, it's even more important to remember the good things in your life.

a great weekend home - Last weekend I made a quick visit home. I got to have drinks with mom and Jessa, snuggle my sister and my mom's pups, get some birthday shopping in courtesy of my mom, get a haircut with Michael, visit with the Burton-Mills clan, eat some of my mom's tasty biscuits and gravy, make a trip to Jarling's, and I got to see a giant group of family and friends at Jodi & Mark's wedding. It was one of those things I had definitely been needing. Oh and my mom did me the best favor ever on Sunday when she drove me to the grocery store so I didn't have to carry my bags on the public trans. 

new hair - Saturday morning, I let my own personal goddess, Michael, shave off a large chunk of my hair a la Tilda Swinton. It's light and easy to fix and I have honestly never been so in love with my hair. Super happy about the new do.

beautiful vow renewal - Saturday night, my aunt, Jodi, and her husband, Mark, renewed their vows in an actual church ceremony and had a huge shindig out at their country schoolhouse afterward. Their tree theme was the best wedding theme I've ever seen. The readings were poignant, the music was beautiful, and it was so good to see my aunt looking thirty years younger because she was shining so much from her happiness. It was also good to see my family and friends that I almost never get to see. 

Alba - Saturday afternoon, I made a stop at the Burton-Mills residence to give Eric and Martha some love and visit with sweet little Alba. Their daughter is the most adorable, polite, grown up little toddler and I thoroughly enjoyed playing in the sand box and wading pool with her and learning all about how a three year old builds a sand castle. 

Ella - My cousin's five year old, Ella, was the flower fairy in Jodi and Mark's renewal ceremony. This kid has me wrapped around every single one of her tiny fingers. No matter how tired I am, if she reaches her arms up, I will pick her up and cuddle her. If she tells me it's time to dance, I will put on my boogie shoes. She is brilliant and well-behaved and her love of life is infectious. I repeatedly told her mom that I was going to steal her away with me. I can't wait until she's old enough to come spend time in Chicago with me and I love seeing the little lady she's going to become.

showing off my mad skills in the kitchen - Sunday evening, Daniel came over and I made some killer dinner. I made a linguine in pesto sauce with butter-poached shrimp, garlic bread, and roasted brussel sprouts. Yes, it was kind of fancy but I seriously never get to cook for other people and I really wanted to try out some new skills I've been studying lately. It turned out great and cuddling up with a sweet boy on the couch with a pint of blood orange sorbet and one of my favorite old Marlon Brando movies, Sayonara, was a great end to the weekend.

requiem to a first love

The world lost a wonderful person this week. On Monday, July 15th, my dear friend, Craig, took his life. I don't know any of the details and I haven't seen him in about five years but I am heartbroken and devastated. Craig was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and the first boy I ever loved (to what extent a 14 year old girl can). He was incredibly smart, driven to do great things, and I loved to sing with him for hours on end. He gave me my love of dancing and, to this day, I have never had a dance partner that I worked with as well as we worked together. We would sing Phantom of the Opera, each vying for who could sing Christine better, and performed in many shows together. No one has ever beaten the two of us at Pictionary. He leaves behind his parents, Bill & Danielle, his partner, Michael, and two adorable dachshunds, Harry & Artie. Everyone who knew Craig loved him and the world is an emptier place without him. Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. 




Craig & Emily, Monticello High School Homecoming, 1997

brighter sides of geekdom: the people you meet

I have a ton of subjects I'd love to be posting on: the irritating habit people have of one-upping each other's stories, the sadness of people succumbing to drug addiction, my anger over the verdict of the Trayvon Martin case, and my severe annoyance at the people in my neighborhood that seem to have no idea how disgusting littering is. The truth is though, I feel like I need to post something positive today. This week has been really horrible for some of my friends and really amazing for some of my friends and, since I don't think the ones who are already having a bad week need to be brought down any further and the ones with good news should keep riding that wave of happy, I'm going to take a page out of Daniel's blog and write about something that helps me through the bad days and the good ones: my amazing friends.

Growing up as a geeky super nerd of the land of brainiacs, freaks, tom-boys, and "those theatre people", was never an easy road. There was always something that someone was teasing me about: my glasses, my bucked teeth, my braces that were fixing my bucked teeth, my good grades, every single time I happened to make a mistake in class, the weird clothes I liked to wear...I think you get the idea. Making friends and, more importantly, maintaining those friendships was never a simple task. I was painfully shy, socially awkward, intellectually advanced way further than my age, and I had the miserable habit of refusing to follow the crowd just so I could be one of the in-crowd. However, what I've found in the past thirty years is that those friendships that I cemented through my weirder ways of life have been the ones that have repeatedly stood the test of time. They were also the ones that required the least amount of work. In the Anne of Green Gables books, Anne refers to these people as "kindred spirits". And you find them everywhere when you least expect it. I've met them in the autograph line at comic con, at random parties thrown by exes, in shows, at school, they just show up and you automatically know that you're going to be lifelong friends. I am especially grateful at the moment because it has led me to my most recent guy of whom I spend my free time with. Yes, he was my psych professor last quarter and no, I did not make a move until after my grades were posted but I pretty much knew from the first day of class that he was someone that needed to be part of my life. It's okay to be who you are, the people that are worth wasting your time on will find you. :)

Things I Love Thursday

Ladies night - Friday night, Carolyn brought over a fantastic Austrian Riesling and we sat on the couch eating tons of snack food and catching up. It was a lovely evening and there's just something awesome about lazing around with a glass of wine and your girlfriends. 

Friends with good news - Saturday I heard some really fantastic news for a friend. She hasn't shared it with everyone yet so I'll keep it to myself but I am so insanely happy for her.

Changeling - Saturday night, I headed off to a new LARP with a fantastic character that I created. The entire night was everything I wanted it to be. The other players are fantastic (and most of my very dearest of friends), my makeup and costume worked out perfectly, post-game diner food with lovely people was a ton of fun, and I'm just super thrilled to see where the game goes. My biggest accomplishment of the night, though, was in the post-game shout-outs. It's a LARPer tradition that once we wrap game, we go around and give shout-outs to people who were particularly fantastic that night (like my friend, Elise, who cut her hair IN GAME). I have always been a bit of a sideline character and have never been particularly noticeable. Apparently that has changed as I got shout-outs for my super creepy character and my awesome ability to sneak up out of nowhere and stare you down. I really love my character and I'm glad she's giving off the right vibe.

Starting the week off right - I started the week off waking up next to a pretty fantastic guy who then took me out to breakfast before driving me to work. I'm pretty sure it was the best possible way to start the work week. 

Barriers to scientific progress - My Behavior Genetics and Evolutionary Psychology has an odd sense of humor and I'm not entirely sure the rest of the class always knows when he's joking. Tuesday night he suggested that we all have children and then switch kids so that we could do adoption studies on them. When the majority of the class declined, stating that they had no intention of ever having any children, he shouted that we were all barriers to scientific progress. I kind of adore his crazy. 

Ivy loves Ivan - At Christmas, I got Ivy an adorable stuffed monkey from Build-A-Bear. This morning, I got a text message from Sarah that Ivy had played with Ivan on her scooter all night last night and then insisted that Ivan put on a dress and come to the nanny's with her this morning. Kind of made my heart melt a little. 

Halfway there - Once I head home after class tonight, I will be halfway done with the summer quarter. It's going quickly but I'm doing well, I'm enjoying them and I am so ready for August.

the eye of the beholder

There have been some pretty viral articles and videos spinning about the internet this week. But today I'm focusing on this article about the female winner of Wimbledon and this video of Dustin Hoffman speaking about his experience with Tootsie. There seems to be a pretty common theme: that women are not worthy of your time or of any great achievements if they do not fit your ideal definition of beauty. And the women are just as bad as the men. Now I will admit, that out of fits of jealousy, I have, on occasion, snarked on a woman's looks before. While it is usually aimed at their poor taste in shoes or picking terrible clothes for their body type, the occasional pot shot at their actual physical appearance has been known to slip out of my mouth. And it has got to stop. When I first saw the Dustin Hoffman video, it was posted by a friend with the following comment attached, "On behalf of all ugly women I applaud you Mr. Hoffman." It was a bit shocking to read because I have never thought of her as ugly. I find her to be an extremely talented woman with a wicked sense of humor and a loving nature that has never allowed me to look at anything as paltry as her looks. I also recently had the experience of showing a picture of a dear friend of mine to someone who replied, "Well, they're rather homely looking, aren't they?" Again, this friend's personality, acceptance, and love shines so thoroughly throughout their entire being that I have always considered them to be extremely lovely. I have always prided myself on never having "a type" when dating. I've dated flaming homosexuals (hey, I was 14, I didn't know any better), guys that looked like rock stars, people who were morbidly obese, men who were nearing 7 feet tall and guys I could tower over in the right pair of heels. They've had every shade of eye color and hair color. I've had crushes on boys that came from Indian, African-American, Italian, German, and Irish heritages. I've dated guys who were rich and guys who were broke. And I have one ex-husband (my bff) who my cousin lovingly refers to as Frodo. Never once has their physical appearance been a thought or the cause of any of our relational difficulties and every one of them was worth getting to know and had something to teach me about life. So what is it that makes us so willing to ignore and even abuse the "ugly people"? It is sad and immature and a level of pathetic that is beyond most people I know. Never pass up the opportunity to make a new friend or fall in love with someone who may not be an Adonis, it is always worth it and you will never be the same when you stop looking at people's bodies and notice what it is they have to bring to the table.

Things I Love Friday (special holiday edition)

Sorry, y'all, I do not go anywhere near a computer on most of my days off and yesterday was no exception. So here is my TILT a day late.

Boys who cook - Now I am a major foodie and I have a vast expanse of cooking experience. I take classes, I religiously watch cooking shows, and read up on new recipes. So, other people that aren't my mom cooking for me is a bit of a novelty. Sunday was one of those days. There were tacos and strawberries for dessert and a lovely time was had by all.

2 weeks down - I am already a third of the way through classes. It's going by quickly and I am greatly looking forward to having August and September off from classes. It will be a nice change not to worry about homework for awhile. That being said, I'm already looking forward to...

Next year's courses - In the fall, I'll be taking Psychopathology and a special topics course in Stereotyping & Prejudice. In the winter, I'll be taking Research Methods and Clinical Psychology. In the spring, I'll be taking an advanced seminar in the Psychology of Emotion and Child Psychopathology. I'm pretty sure every one of these classes is going to be intensely fascinating and I'm looking forward to taking classes with Sara Broaders because she's kind of a big deal around here.

The P-nut is back in the states - Tuesday night my dearest baby (okay, he's 21 but he's still my baby) cousin, Austin, flew back to Chicago for his month of leave. He's been stationed in Okinawa with the army for the past year and a half and I have never been happier to put my arms around someone. My cousins Alysia and Shayne (and Shayne's roommate, Duncan) and I  took him out to Luxbar and Clark Street Ale House and had a rousing good time. On that note, I am too old to be out drinking with three 21 year olds. 

Green with Envy - Speaking of Luxbar. Not only is their food blow-your-mind amazing but their cocktails are to die for. If you are a huge lover of gin like me, go there and order the Green with Envy cocktail. Hendrick, St Germain, cucumber juice, lemon juice, and prosecco. There is nothing bad about this drink.

1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets - I just got a really sweet deal for these babies on Amazon and I am likely to never leave my bed again if I have the choice.

Lazy holidays - As aforementioned, yesterday was the good old fourth of July and, in the past, I have been known to spend most of the day cooking and prepping for parties, partying, and drinking well into the wee smas. Yesterday, I spent half the day in my comfy new sheets and the rest of the day curled up in my papasan with a pup in my lap, a gin cocktail by my side, and an xbox controller in hand. I think it was likely more fun than fighting the crowds outside.

Character research - Tomorrow night I start up my new character in the Changeling LARP. I have spent a lot of time looking into makeup designs and plotting my costume and my hair and my character in general. I need to pick up a few supplies and maybe get a practice run in with my makeup but I am super excited to take her for a spin.