a week off - last week was a whole week with no classes and no socializing, it was a perfect way to refresh and revitalize before classes start back up.
maryfest - I haven't made it to my dear friend Mary's annual birthday bash in several years, timing has just never quite worked out. But this year I made it out to the suburbs, saw people I almost never get to see, ate cake with Tom Hiddleston on top, and truly enjoyed celebrating an awesome person.
my single life - as per a lovely chat with miss Mary herself, I really do enjoy my single life. I may have the occasional whine but I really do enjoy my space, time, funds, and everything else belonging just to me.
muppet and moopit night - Michael and I watched about five hours of HIMYM this weekend. It's nice to have someone I can lay on the couch and watch TV with and experience absolutely no drama.
office celebrations - yesterday was our office's last day all together. We all had breakfast at Le Peep in Evanston, took our picture together, and ended the day with a bottle of prosecco. Our lovely little family atmosphere is never going to be quite the same again.
meeting anticipations - tomorrow we meet with the dean to discuss the fate of our office restructure and the curriculum coordinator position that I so desperately want to fill. I'm excited and scared and don't know whether to smile or throw up.
fixed a/c - apparently people in this building have finally realized that I'm not someone you want to harass you. I complained about our lack of office a/c around 12:30 and someone was in my office and fixing it by 2. Nice to stop being so sweaty.
remission - this was actually the best news of the week though. In therapy this morning my psychologist informed me that she considers me to be in remission and, if I came in to see her today, she wouldn't diagnose me with depression. I've worked really hard over the past nine months or so and I feel better than I have in years, maybe ever.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
anniversaries, my 100th blog
Let's go back to May 2010. I had been in Chicago for about eight months and I was miserable. Don't get me wrong, I loved my job and I was living somewhere that I had always wanted to live but I was desperately lonely. Most of the friends I had moved up to be closer to worked conflicting schedules with mine and my social anxiety made it difficult to branch out and find things to do with my time. I spent night after night sitting in my apartment chain smoking with a glass of wine in front of the Food Network and thinking about giving up and moving back home. Many times I would cry myself to sleep and shout out to whatever higher powers that be that all I wanted was someone in my life.
Fast forward to four years ago today, June 12th, 2010. I was going on a date with a guy I had met a couple of times back home while he was seeing a friend of mine. We had exchanged Facebook pleasantries on my imminent Chicago arrival and that had been about it. He was a few years younger than I and I had always been more into older fellows but it was so rare that anyone had ever asked me out on a date that I said yes. This is still the best first date I have ever been on. And, while things did not work out for us romantically, I think everyone knows that Michael and I are the very best and most loyal of friends.
Typically, I find the dating anniversary to be a silly one. It's never been all that important to me, more of a Hallmark celebration than anything else. So why is this anniversary so very important to me? Because four years ago today, my life was forever changed in all of the best ways. I not only finally had someone but lots of someones that wanted to spend time with me. The people that I have been introduced to over the past four years are the best things that have ever happened to me. I, an unrelenting tomboy who had all of four close female friends in the first 25 years of my life, have a group of lady friends that I can talk to about anything and can trust to have my back. I have friends who are intellectually stimulating on a vast array of knowledge bases. I have friends that share my interests and world views. I have friends that have made me part of their family.
Even more than all of this, I have been motivated by this amazing group of people to step out of my shell and be comfortable in my own skin. I have pursued new interests and excelled at the classes I'm taking toward my degree in psychology. I have sought treatment for anxiety and depression and conquered fears that I never thought I'd be able to overcome. I am changed in all ways for the better. I am no longer that scared, overwhelmed, lonely girl. And I could never be more grateful for the life that I have.
So thank you, moopit, and happy un-anniversary.
Fast forward to four years ago today, June 12th, 2010. I was going on a date with a guy I had met a couple of times back home while he was seeing a friend of mine. We had exchanged Facebook pleasantries on my imminent Chicago arrival and that had been about it. He was a few years younger than I and I had always been more into older fellows but it was so rare that anyone had ever asked me out on a date that I said yes. This is still the best first date I have ever been on. And, while things did not work out for us romantically, I think everyone knows that Michael and I are the very best and most loyal of friends.
Typically, I find the dating anniversary to be a silly one. It's never been all that important to me, more of a Hallmark celebration than anything else. So why is this anniversary so very important to me? Because four years ago today, my life was forever changed in all of the best ways. I not only finally had someone but lots of someones that wanted to spend time with me. The people that I have been introduced to over the past four years are the best things that have ever happened to me. I, an unrelenting tomboy who had all of four close female friends in the first 25 years of my life, have a group of lady friends that I can talk to about anything and can trust to have my back. I have friends who are intellectually stimulating on a vast array of knowledge bases. I have friends that share my interests and world views. I have friends that have made me part of their family.
Even more than all of this, I have been motivated by this amazing group of people to step out of my shell and be comfortable in my own skin. I have pursued new interests and excelled at the classes I'm taking toward my degree in psychology. I have sought treatment for anxiety and depression and conquered fears that I never thought I'd be able to overcome. I am changed in all ways for the better. I am no longer that scared, overwhelmed, lonely girl. And I could never be more grateful for the life that I have.
So thank you, moopit, and happy un-anniversary.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Things I Love Thursday
Assassin's Creed - I burned through the first one pretty quickly and now I'm finding everything down to the last feather in 2. It's really been a great release during the stressful time leading up to finals.
Gin - Our monthly cocktail party was gin-focused and oh how I love gin. French 75s and a lovely concoction of lemon and tarragon were my go-to drinks for the evening. It was a great group of people and I'm looking forward to the next one.
Outdoor fun with the monkey - I got to spend a fabulous day mostly outdoors with the Arehart clan, a great deal of which included lying in the grass and blowing bubbles whenever I was so demanded by my sweet little Ivy. I got to read her books and take a nap with her and eat lunch and dinner (incredible breakfast burritos made by Tim) and give her a bath and tuck her in for the night. I just love that they let me be a part of their family.
Unexpected baby visits - My coworker brought her little bacon bit into the office yesterday afternoon and I swear she gets cuter every time I see her. Looking forward to having Heather back in eight days.
Last class of the quarter - Last night saw me standing in my last class of the quarter giving an in-class presentation on kindness and it's effects on subjective happiness. Don't get me wrong, I still have to finish and turn in my final papers next week but I'm mostly done. I've been super exhausted and I'm looking forward to having a few weeks off before the summer quarter starts up.
Pizza - Thankfully, since I didn't have a ton of time to actually cook before this week started in earnest, both of my professors brought pizza to class to feed us. I've never been so grateful for something so greasy.
Gin - Our monthly cocktail party was gin-focused and oh how I love gin. French 75s and a lovely concoction of lemon and tarragon were my go-to drinks for the evening. It was a great group of people and I'm looking forward to the next one.
Outdoor fun with the monkey - I got to spend a fabulous day mostly outdoors with the Arehart clan, a great deal of which included lying in the grass and blowing bubbles whenever I was so demanded by my sweet little Ivy. I got to read her books and take a nap with her and eat lunch and dinner (incredible breakfast burritos made by Tim) and give her a bath and tuck her in for the night. I just love that they let me be a part of their family.
Unexpected baby visits - My coworker brought her little bacon bit into the office yesterday afternoon and I swear she gets cuter every time I see her. Looking forward to having Heather back in eight days.
Last class of the quarter - Last night saw me standing in my last class of the quarter giving an in-class presentation on kindness and it's effects on subjective happiness. Don't get me wrong, I still have to finish and turn in my final papers next week but I'm mostly done. I've been super exhausted and I'm looking forward to having a few weeks off before the summer quarter starts up.
Pizza - Thankfully, since I didn't have a ton of time to actually cook before this week started in earnest, both of my professors brought pizza to class to feed us. I've never been so grateful for something so greasy.
Monday, June 2, 2014
maximizers and satisficers, or how I ruined my last vacation
A couple of years ago, Michael took me to Las Vegas for a week on vacation. I was incredibly grateful for his generous gift and excited to explore a new city. Somehow, though, the trip did not meet expectations and caused more stress among the ranks than happy couple bonding time. It took me a long time to realize exactly what went so terribly wrong on that trip and even longer to finally have a name for it. I am a maximizer. If you want a brief but good explanation of maximizers versus satisficers, you can find one here. I spend ever so much time over analyzing every decision I make and constantly worried that I will make the wrong decision. Which is what happened on this trip. I couldn't even pick a restaurant to eat at without being quite sure that my traveling companion would find it unsatisfactory and, because I had made said decision, subsequently find me unsatisfactory. I became a very unattractive, insecure person to be stuck in a hotel with for a week. And quite literally every time I have made decisions in this manner, I have sabotaged myself. So here is my resolution, no more ruined vacations and self doubt, I resolve to be a satisficer from here on out. Dear friends, please call me out when I'm being too obsessive.
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