it's a struggle

I, like I'm sure everyone else in the history of ever, spend so much time mired down in self doubt and, let's be honest, self hate. Add on the fact that I am facing a huge life change and all of the details involved, my job pretty much leaves me a shell of a human by the end of the week, I'm still trying to finish up my last two undergrad classes with my own high standards, I'm living in a place that's not my usual habitat without my sweet puppy for company, and I'm doing it all without medication because it was always my goal to do that. I'm struggling. A lot of mornings I can barely talk myself out of bed in the morning and, even though I have a very small amount of time left here in Chicago and I should be using it to see all of the people I love, leaving the house is pretty overwhelming on the best days and well nigh impossible on the bad ones. I'm having a really hard time standing up for myself. I'm tired of people who say hateful things and people who don't apologize when they've wronged you and gas lighting and verbal and emotional abuse. I'm not happy with really anything right now. I know that moving somewhere new and starting all over won't suddenly make everything in my life peaches and cream but maybe it can help me scrub out the bad elements.