say what you need to say

So today's NaPoWriMo prompt is to make every line something that you wanted to say to someone and never did (basically honesty is the best policy). Then I caught last night's Glee episode, a beautiful and gut-wrenching piece on school shootings. The end message was to always tell people how you feel because any day could be your last. I've spent a lot of time over the years pretending like I was okay when I wasn't. I've let things go because it was easier to ignore them than deal with the confrontation. And I'm very done. I haven't been okay in a while and every day I struggle to fight through the demons of my fast and find a place where I can be okay again. I've been lied to so many times that I don't really believe anything at face value anymore. And I've been rejected so many times that I'm pretty sure destiny is telling me that I was meant to be everyone's really amazing single friend. But I can also say that I've never felt like I belonged anywhere until I moved to this city. I never had very many close friends until I met the people I spend my time with here. And I never believed that I could accomplish my goals and pursue the activities I was interested in before I left the small town I grew up in. So life has been hard and disappointing and heartbreaking but it made me stronger and led me to a place where I feel constantly rewarded and welcome. And from now on I'm never going to keep my feelings and thoughts hidden away.